Sharknado -2013-

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Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante. 131 mins.

Worth my time? No. (Seen on the Syfy Channel)

Aw, this was a disappointment. There wasn’t nearly enough sharknado! There was plenty of Shark-flooding (which was sorta fun), but the notorious ‘nado didn’t show up until the final act.

A piece of advice to the filmmakers at the Asylum: you aren’t in the business of building suspense. Leave that to the real directors of the world. Your job is to take your single concept and beat it into a delirious pulp. Don’t make us wait for the titular tornado! The less time we see it, the more time we have to look at Tara Reid, a woman who makes Amanda Bynes look like she’s aged gracefully.

It’s nice to see John Heard kicking shark-ass (had they asses) with a barstool though.

(Seen and originally written on 2013-07-11)